On Blogging
Blogging and writing in general have always been a struggle for me. I like to think about things I find interesting or engaging. I love searching and collecting little bits of knowledge through quotes, web pages, ideas, book lists, notes, etc.
But when it comes to expressing these desires through linear, organized structure of a written text, I crumble. Suddenly the flow of thought is lost and I fail to convey anything efficiently and/or eloquently. There is a major difference between thinking about writing and writing.
And so I'm in a constant uphill battle against my own brain, figuring out how to put out something meaningful, something I can share with others, and finally something that I myself can be proud of.
If you go back and look at my posting schedule -- it's a mess. I think I've described it as a 'mania-depression thing' in a previous post. Bursts of productive writing followed by months of nothing. What you are currently reading is another attempt to regain something I've lacked throughout my entire life -- consistency.
It is often said that consistency is the key, that to anybody -- from lawyers to film directors -- it should be the number one priority. Inspiration is a naive fairy tale, real artists and real workers get up and create output every day, whatever happens.
It's an attractive concept. It paints a vision of creation that happens not through divine intervention, but through a meticulous and dedicated work ethic.
Evidently, it hasn't worked for me. Maybe I'm just lazy or lack sufficient motivation. Of course, this is another time when I promise to myself, make an obligation, to write at least a single post a week.
To he honest, none of the previous passages have touched on the main reason I'm even typing this. So in December of previous year someone named Sylvia wrote me a short little email, just stopping by as a friendly Bearblog neighbor and saying that they enjoyed some of my posts. It definitely felt surreal, receiving a message from someone I never knew. But at the same time I felt in the moments of reading and answering their letter like I was a part of a community, like my work has formed a bond.
And so after, as I often do, thinking to myself about resurrecting this blog and scrambling for answers, failing to find motivation, I remembered Sylvia's email. And it all clicked.